So, You're Saying I Can't Sanitize My Baby With A Clorox Wipe???

Don't be alarmed. I wouldn't really do this. It's just that I've generally been able to wipe away my ocd fear of germs with a Clorox wipe before.  I haven't even cleaned my dogs with a wipe, despite strong urges. You see, I have a problem. If you know me at all, you probably know I am a little obsessive-compulsive about germs.  I think I hide it or the extent of it well, though.  Chris may not agree.  He will reluctantly admit that this is one of our biggest relationship struggles. But no matter how crazy he thinks I am, he will sigh and wash his hands one more time or change his clothes or wipe down the car seats if I ask. I think my problem may have started at the end of high school or beginning of college. I am not sure what triggered it but when I did a research paper on it, I read some where that there may be a link between childhood strep and ocd. I had strep as a child. Alot. Anyway, I also think I use it as a coping mechanism when other things in my life get out of control.  The last several years have been difficult and trying at times so my personality is to try and control what I can.  Not the right thing to do since in reality, I control nothing and must trust God.  But, I still have these odd little rituals I must perform so I can survive.  Let me say, I am not crazy like those people who arrange carpet fringe for hours or eat my eyebrows (thank goodness!).  I really don't think I will divulge the extent of my problem, but I do wash my hands frequently, always have anti-bac, have a problem sitting in a doctor's office or even going to a hospital and never fail to open a public rest room door with a paper towel. I think everyone should follow these protocols for their life, as well.  But, Chris assures me this is not normal and won't let me watch those shows that reveal what germs grow where and the places "dirtier than a toilet seat", anymore. 
I bring all of this up to say I think having a baby will be the best behavioral and cognitive therapy there is.  I already know I cannot keep a baby completely clean and out of germs' way. Plus, they need to build up some immunity. My doctor must have picked up on some of my tendencies and that is why he said having a boy will be good for me and mellow me out a little.  I shudder at the thought of the stories other parents have told me about what their little boys have done.  I am the mom with the baby in the bubble in that commercial.  That can't be a good thing! I need to find that middle ground. Compromise.  I don't want Cohen to be the only preschooler with antibac hanging from his backpack!
This will definitely be a learning and growing experience as God uses Cohen to help me let go of this ridiculous mental challenge I have struggled with for years.  I will not win this, and defeat is inevitable. But it will be a good defeat.  So, here's to dirt and mud and poop and bugs and crawling all over the floor and not washing hands every thirty minutes!