Lilypie First Birthday tickers

Lilypie First Birthday tickers

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

A Lifetime of Letting Go

 "He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, 'He is my refuge and my fortress; My God, in Him I will trust.' "
Psalm 91:2

 As I reflect back on these last 6 amazing months of Cohen's life, I keep hearing one of my nurses in the back of my mind saying, "You're worrying is only beginning!  Just wait 'til he's here!"  She said this as I was a few months away from giving birth and we were lightheartedly discussing my propensity to worry about the pregnancy.  At the time, I couldn't imagine being more worried than I had been over the last several months.  I imagined all my cares melting away as soon as they  placed little Cohen in my arms at the hospital.  I was so focused on getting him here that I failed to contemplate very far into the future at all!  This nurse was right. There are new worries at every stage of Cohen's life for me to look forward to.  Little did I know then that all my anxiety and trouble leading up to April 12th was preparing me for the rest of my life!

The very first night in the hospital I couldn't sleep because I was intent on making sure everything was ok with Cohen.  As soon as we got home, I started worrying about SIDS and the common newborn rapid breathing patterns and whether he was sleeping enough, eating enough, being held too much etc.  After my exhaustion bottomed out and things slowed down a little and I actually had time to think, I began to analyze my thoughts. Wow! Had I not learned anything the last 9 months?  God clearly communicated to me after my visit to the ER that I needed to trust him and hand everything over to Him. Concerning not just Cohen, but everything in my life.  All these balls I was trying so hard to juggle, were falling.  I hadn't been doing such a great job micro-managing my life.  It was as if God was saying "Let it go!".  After all, why would I insist on holding all these things in my life ever so closely to me when I could drop them at any time when all along I can hand them over to an infinite, all-powerful, all-knowing God with steady hands?  I have been working on this my entire life, but now for real!  This little baby was my world from the moment we found out about him, sight unseen!  So, every day, every hour and even every minute of bed rest, I had to consciously let go of all my fears and worry and control of the fate of my unborn baby.  Hardest thing in the world and I wasn't very good at it.  Although it was one of the most challenging times of our lives, I look back on it with fondness and I cherish it because God walked the difficult path with us and showed me so many things about who I need to be and how I need to grow.

So as Cohen is growing up way too fast, it is as if God is saying. "Here we go- Trust me and let him go!"  Because life will be filled with sickness, bumps, bruises, going off to kindergarten, life-threatening sports, driving, dating, going off to college, getting married and leaving me!  But as much as I love him, and it is crazy how much you love your baby, I must hand him over to a God who loves him even more than I do.  And because I know this in my heart of hearts to be true, I am so thankful to God for that dark season in our lives that prepared me for a lifetime of letting go.

I trust God because He grew Cohen from this....

to this!

Saturday, October 15, 2011

6 Month Report

Time sure does fly and Cohen loves to, also!  At least he thinks he is when dad helps him soar Superman-style all over the house!  Whether it is soaring, rolling, army-crawling, or attempting to maneuver out of someone's arms, our Cohen is a mover!  I am going to need a lot more sleep to keep up with this one! Cohen just gets quicker each day.  He will move 10 feet in 10 seconds. I literally cannot take my eyes off of him for one second.  Which makes it quite a challenge again to fit in a shower any where or household chores for that matter! The  activity center thingy he has is still too tall and he is far too unstable in it. He is fitting into his Bumbo quite well these days, however. We are continually amazed at all Cohen can do and his emerging personality. He has quite the sense of humor. Lately he throws things off of his changing station behind the dresser then laughs at himself.  Grandma Johnson, Aunt Jen and I all make fools of ourselves trying to get a giggle out of the little guy, but Grandpa Johnson or Chris come along and he immediately breaks into a grin at their presence. They are just funnier, I guess.

Another huge milestone has been eating actual food!  Cohen has really taken to it well. We started with rice cereal then graduated to carrots and squash.  Cohen was oh so privileged to try my first attempt at making baby food! I started with sweet potatoes.  He seems to like it all amidst the grunts, groans, and contorted faces. He even tries to take the spoon and feed himself.  Cohen is also drinking a smidgen of water from a more mature bottle with handles, but mostly plays with it.

We think Cohen had his first cold a couple of weeks ago when Chris got a sinus infection and passed it on to me.  Cohen was stuffy and had a difficult time breathing at night. Of course the night I was the most miserable, poor Cohen woke up about every hour and a half.  But it really wasn't too bad overall and luckily babies' sinuses are not developed enough to get infections until they are 5 or something. The pediatrician said it is probably just dry air and teething drainage at night.

Cohen's 6 month check up went well. Cohen weighs 18 pounds and 2 ounces placing him in the 55th percentile and 27 1/2 inches long and in the 75th percentile.  He received a handful of shots including the first part of two flu shots. That one must have been a doozie because Cohen was pretty fussy the following days. Awesome! We get another one in a few weeks. The nurse was very impressed with how well Cohen handled it all, but his eyes welled up with huge tears and he cried his most heart-wrenching sobs, but they are quiet and don't seem so bad to an outside observer. The doctor said he doesn't feel any teeth coming, but he sure is chewing everything in sight and drooling like crazy. 

Now some snapshots:

22 weeks

23 weeks

Why hello there!

Mr. Flexibility

24 weeks

25 weeks

More sports!


Gotta love that hair!

This one always makes me laugh!

Family photo with little guy sporting a double chin

We love Sophie!

Hanging out with best friends Jackson and Caleb!

Helping with laundry

Excited dad is home

26 weeks