We Made It!!!!

We can not thank you enough for all of your prayers and encouragement these last several months! We know that God truly has had his hand on Cohen and us throughout this time. He truly is our little, amazing miracle.  As free time is scarce these days, I may have to divulge details of Cohen's arrival over a few posts.  Also, as I have had little sleep, as expected, my editing skills will be considerably lower.  I apologize in advance.

Anyway, we went in to the hospital last Monday evening expecting to get things started, but still expecting to sleep a decent amount. We were very wrong.  I was having contractions every two to three minutes after awhile. The only thing they offered me was some medication that had hardly any affect on the pain but made me extremely loopy.  As soon as they administered it, the room was spinning, I couldn't keep my eyes open and I felt heat rise from my toes to my head.  I'm pretty sure because I had diminished capacity from the initial dose, I foolishly accepted two more throughout the night.  I literally watched the clock until 5 AM when they could start the induction and I was allowed an epidural. We were in for a long day.  The day is very fuzzy for me because of the previously mentioned medication. The one thing I really loved in the hospital was the monitor they hooked me up to so I could hear Cohen's heart beat the entire time.  So, I constantly asked how high my contractions registered and how Cohen's heart beat was.  Throughout the day I steadily progressed. The strangely ironic thing was that Chris was nauseous and throwing up all day.He hadn't even gone to the Fair and eaten fried pickles!   The nurses were pretty worried about him and sympathetic but still could not give him anything.  Finally, he called and explained the situation to his doctor's office and they called in a prescription to the hospital pharmacy in the nick of time.  The doctor came around early afternoon and said it wouldn't be long.   Apparently his definition and my definition of "long"  is completely different!  So maybe four hours later he said it was time to push.  We were excited but my heart sunk when he said I had a fever over 101 degrees and he would administer an antibiotic via i.v. and monitor me and Cohen to make sure we were ok.  He said otherwise the options were to use the forceps or have a c-section. And then, even though I was unaware of it, the doctor went out and told my family that he would let me push for an hour but then he would probably need to intervene. 

I hadn't given the "pushing" part much thought, but it was tough!  Chris was a great coach but I was struggling with the fever and having had a sinus infection, I was all stuffed up which made the "breathing" part somewhat difficult.  Let me just say that there is nothing glamorous about this part or those infamous bedside photos after the birth!  I was on so many medications and i.v.s and things that when I look back, I don't recognize myself at all.  Although the labor nurses gave me no indication whatsoever how I was progressing, they finally said we were close a little after an hour and they were trying to contact my doctor. They had a difficult time reaching him and I can only think that is because he didn't expect me to get this far on my own.  They had me stop pushing.  I was getting a little upset when he didn't come and was thinking, "Hey, buddy-we've been at your office every week now for several months and we are all in this together, so you better show up!!!"  He did. He delivered Cohen and I could tell he was perfect! They whisked him away and Chris left my side to be with him.  I couldn't believe all this had just happened!  Then in came the family who I don't think could believe it all either.  My doctor told me before he left that he thought I was a "powder puff" and wouldn't be able to do it on my own!  Just because I ask a million questions and worry about things doesn't mean I'm not tough!  Anyway, the evening was long and I got no sleep, but we were so excited! Chris was able to sleep, but the funniest thing was when nurses would come in to check on me and Cohen he would pop up with a glassy-eyed, not-all-there or awake look and mumble something incoherent then lay right back down.  He needed his rest, though, because we were immediately in for some sleepless nights.

So, things are going well. We weren't able to leave the hospital until Thursday morning because I had several rounds of i.v. antibiotics I had to take because of my fever.  We were beyond exhausted the first few days, but doing so much better since my mom stayed a few nights and we were able to get some sleep.  Also, Cohen's first pediatrician appointment went well as well as his first chiropractic adjustment.  I know, I know, it sounds weird, but Chris did the research so ask him!  We don't go back to either for a month.

I have to put a word in for Chris. He has been absolutely amazing through the entire ordeal and he is a wonderful dad already! He is a natural-changing most diapers, helping with baths, calming Cohen down, waking at all hours of the night to do whatever needs done and keeping track of Cohen's feeding/sleeping/diaper log.  I will really miss him when he goes back to work!

Well, since it has taken nearly four attempts at writing this post, I will call it good.  Who knows when I will get enough free time next!

The Final Update

Time has been moving like molasses the last few weeks. I am ready for Cohen to be here and safe!  We had our final OB appointment yesterday.  Just like two weeks ago, Cohen decided to take a nap during the bpp sonogram. Not good.  After several minutes, Cohen only had 2 out of 8 points.  The lady was pushing and poking him and had me turning on my sides, but to no avail.  Finally, she had me get up and walk around to see if that would wake him up. If it did not, we would be sent to the hospital for further testing.  Ironically, he usually moves a ton.  Especially lately.  So, when he sleeps, he sleeps hard!  So, after returning and unbeknownst to the lady, I gave my whole stomach a good, few jiggles, Cohen woke up and proceeded to pass his test! The newest weight estimate is 7 pounds 13 ounces, although the doctor thinks he might be a little more than that.

We only waited an hour to see the doctor. I will spare you the details, but he decided I will go into the hospital  on Monday night to get ready for Tuesday's induction, barring any different plans on Cohen's part.  We found out last week that due to scheduling conflicts, we wouldn't be able to go in early on Monday the 11th, like we thought.  So, it should be a long week!

We are excited, but I would feel a lot better about everything if Chris hadn't decided to so generously share his cold with me.  I had been successfully avoiding him all week! So, now I find myself in quite a miserable state.  We are just praying it doesn't turn into a sinus infection or strep, like what often happens to me.  It is difficult to tell, since no matter what I get, it starts with a sore throat.  So I am working on my attitude and outlook as things could be much worse.  I can't help but have visions of not being able to hold my own baby because I am such a health hazard.  I will just hope for a plain, quick cold. And hopefully the next time I post, Cohen will be here! It's so hard to believe he is almost here. We are so blessed!

Cohen's Corner

So, I am pretty sure Cohen will be here before his dresser drawer is, so I have given up on waiting until we get it to post pictures!  Cohen's nursery theme is puppies and my sister, Jennifer, and my mom did all of the painting.  I am so thankful for all of their help! I could not have done it without them. So, without further ado, here are pictures!

Aunt Jen painted the tree, puppy and sign! (Please ignore the gaping hole in the dresser!)

 

Aunt Jen made this as a shower gift

My mom made the curtains

Aunt Jen also painted his hanging letters

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I hope you have enjoyed the little tour!  We have a few more finishing touches to do eventually.  But, we hope the nursery will have a new little tenant soon!

It Won't Be Long Now....

This is a brief update on Cohen!  This has been a fairly difficult week, so we were ready for some good news.  We had our fourth BPP yesterday. It is hard to believe that if we make it to April 11th, we have only three appointments left! The sonogram went really well and we were able to get Cohen to cooperate enough to get some adorable 4D pictures!

Can you see his face next to his little arm?

 Is that not the cutest baby ever?  We can't wait to meet him.  They guesstimate that he weighs 6 pounds 7 ounces right now and my doctor said by April 11th he will most likely weigh around 8 pounds 4 ounces. I can do that, right? I hope so!  Anyway, he passed his BPP with flying colors and we even saw him stick his tongue out!  We had an earlier appointment time than usual, so our wait time was less.  Chris behaved until we were waiting in the exam room and his restlessness resulted in doing all sorts of stretches.  He then devised a plan to hide in the "changing room" in the exam room and when the doctor expressed his surprise at not seeing Chris at our appointment, he would jump out and scare him!  Wow. I never know what he will come up with, but I think his ideas are escalating! Good thing we have only a few appointments left. 
I feel better since the doctor said we would really be fine to deliver any time now.  We spent most of the appointment discussing the logistics of switching my blood thinner shots from once a day to twice a day so things will be more in control if I go into labor.  Yikes! Cohen is coming soon and I am still avoiding thoughts of exactly how that will happen.  We appreciate everyone's prayers through this time and still covet them as there are so many unknowns through birth and delivery. We could not feel more blessed to be where we are after such a rough start.  And thanks to amazing family and friends we feel ready with the things we need when Cohen arrives!

Me with my good friends Tina and Lindsey at the shower they threw for me

P.S. I promise nursery pictures are coming soon! I just need to get my dresser drawer mailed to me and it will be complete. (One drawer was damaged and they are sending me a new one, hopefully soon!)

So, You're Saying I Can't Sanitize My Baby With A Clorox Wipe???

Don't be alarmed. I wouldn't really do this. It's just that I've generally been able to wipe away my ocd fear of germs with a Clorox wipe before.  I haven't even cleaned my dogs with a wipe, despite strong urges. You see, I have a problem. If you know me at all, you probably know I am a little obsessive-compulsive about germs.  I think I hide it or the extent of it well, though.  Chris may not agree.  He will reluctantly admit that this is one of our biggest relationship struggles. But no matter how crazy he thinks I am, he will sigh and wash his hands one more time or change his clothes or wipe down the car seats if I ask. I think my problem may have started at the end of high school or beginning of college. I am not sure what triggered it but when I did a research paper on it, I read some where that there may be a link between childhood strep and ocd. I had strep as a child. Alot. Anyway, I also think I use it as a coping mechanism when other things in my life get out of control.  The last several years have been difficult and trying at times so my personality is to try and control what I can.  Not the right thing to do since in reality, I control nothing and must trust God.  But, I still have these odd little rituals I must perform so I can survive.  Let me say, I am not crazy like those people who arrange carpet fringe for hours or eat my eyebrows (thank goodness!).  I really don't think I will divulge the extent of my problem, but I do wash my hands frequently, always have anti-bac, have a problem sitting in a doctor's office or even going to a hospital and never fail to open a public rest room door with a paper towel. I think everyone should follow these protocols for their life, as well.  But, Chris assures me this is not normal and won't let me watch those shows that reveal what germs grow where and the places "dirtier than a toilet seat", anymore. 
I bring all of this up to say I think having a baby will be the best behavioral and cognitive therapy there is.  I already know I cannot keep a baby completely clean and out of germs' way. Plus, they need to build up some immunity. My doctor must have picked up on some of my tendencies and that is why he said having a boy will be good for me and mellow me out a little.  I shudder at the thought of the stories other parents have told me about what their little boys have done.  I am the mom with the baby in the bubble in that commercial.  That can't be a good thing! I need to find that middle ground. Compromise.  I don't want Cohen to be the only preschooler with antibac hanging from his backpack!
This will definitely be a learning and growing experience as God uses Cohen to help me let go of this ridiculous mental challenge I have struggled with for years.  I will not win this, and defeat is inevitable. But it will be a good defeat.  So, here's to dirt and mud and poop and bugs and crawling all over the floor and not washing hands every thirty minutes!

Yes, Yes I Am

Out of bed, that is.  It has come to my attention that many people who see me out and about are surprised.  It is confusing and difficult to explain.  To see me out it would be easy to assume that I am a normal, functioning, waddling pregnant person that goes anywhere the breeze blows me.  However,  I am still very limited in what I do.  The doctor has officially given me a little freedom to get up and out for awhile, but has been very cautionary.  I do fairly well if I am just going to go somewhere and sit. But, if I do go to the grocery store or to do a few errands, I find myself exhausted and ready to recuperate at home for a few days.  I think that is because I am so accustomed to being sedentary.  I have not been on "complete bed rest" since some time in December.  And really, things have been going pretty well and I have adjusted to being limited in what I do with a peace that only comes from God.  The first day I was in tears, but after that I just came to accept what I needed to do (or not do) to get our baby here safely.  Chris has had the difficult part of picking up all the slack.  This has definitely been a "growing" stage of our relationship where we have learned to communicate better, be more understanding, and define what our different standards of "clean" are. Let's just say one of us is more partial to speed over quality!  In all seriousness, Chris has learned all of the household chores, perfected the grocery shopping, taken on all sorts of errands, and is a huge help with cooking and dishes.  It will be interesting to see where everything falls when Cohen is here and our world is turned upside down again (in a good way!).

We had our second bpp yesterday.  Cohen passed quickly, but they only do measurements every other week. We were disappointed when he turned his head and we couldn't get a good shot for our first 3D picture. Oh well, there is always next week.  The sonograms go so quickly, then we wait an eternity in the waiting room for our follow-up appointment with the doctor. Luckily, a friend came in and also had to wait quite a while so we were able to catch up with her.  Needless to say, Chris didn't fall asleep this time! I wish he would come up with a question for once for the doctor, though. As it is, I am the only one interacting with the doctor while Chris gives him the "I'm so sorry my wife is a question nut/worry wart." I always turn to him and ask if he has any questions and he just shakes his head. Thanks a lot.   This wouldn't be so bad if he would at least pay attention to integral parts of the appointment and exam. Example: "Chris, what did I measure today?" Answer: "I don't know."  He also struggles to repeat key information as the doctor answers my questions.  I asked him yesterday what he did notice and he replied, "The doctor was wearing Nikes today and his student doctor must be outdoorsy based on her shoes."  So helpful.  I think I will hand off some of my questions to Chris from now on. Balance it out.  Therefore earning the reputation of the "inquisitive couple" not just "inquisitive Jacque".  And since the doctor usually doesn't mention what I am measuring, I will encourage Chris to notice as it is difficult and obvious to lift my head to peer over my ever-unfamiliar, expanding belly to strain my eyes and mentally take note.

I think I will go for now.  However, I hope to reveal the nursery pictures soon!  Final touches are going on.  So that is something to look forward to!

Total Trust

I Peter 5:7 "Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you."

We have been looking forward to 32 weeks for awhile. It seems like a milestone of sorts.  When we discussed the coming weeks with our doctor, he mentioned that we would have a sonogram for a biophysical profile at 32 weeks.  A biophysical profile is a test they put baby through to make sure everything looks ok.  This is what they look at:

Biophysical Attribute	Normal	Abnormal
Breathing	1 breathing episode within 30 minutes	No breathing episodes within 30 minutes
Movement	2 or more movements within 30 minutes	less than 2 movements within 30 minutes
Muscle Tone	1 or more episodes of active extension/flexion of limbs, etc. (i.e. opening and closing a hand).	Slow extension/flexion of limbs, partially open fetal hand, etc
Heart Rate	2 or more episodes of reactive heart rate acceleration within 20 min	1 or more episodes of unreactive heart rate acceleration
Amniotic Fluid	1 or more adequate pockets of fluid	Either no pockets or inadequate pockets of fluid

So we have been hoping and praying that Cohen will pass his test! I was already nervous, but then we learned that we will actually be having a sonogram every week from here on out to do a biophysical profile. He needs to pass 7 times!  Although these tests cause me a little anxiety, I am so glad we are checking up on our little one like this and are able to take all of these precautions.  If there is something wrong, I want to know!
Our first bpp sonogram was yesterday.  They allow 30 minutes total to see all these things.  I was excited to take a peak at Cohen again, but as he gets bigger it is difficult to tell what everything is!  He was fairly active yesterday, so we saw him moving and kicking and breathing. We were even able to see a little bit of hair on his little head.  They estimate he weighs 4 pounds, 11 ounces already.  Overall, he is measuring 10 days ahead.  Also, the verdict remains that he is still a boy!  So no frantically changing the nursery decor! I tried to ask as many questions as I could, but after about ten minutes we were done and he had passed! Praise the Lord! We will continue to pray that he passes his following tests.
After each sonogram, we will wait and have a follow-up appointment with the doctor.  The last few times in the waiting room with Chris have been fairly boring since he generally ends up dozing off.  At that point, I monitor snoring, gaping mouth, or sudden jerky movements that would cause his elbow to fall off the arm rest. Other than that, I usually let him be.  It would take a lot of energy on my part to keep him alert and awake.  Although, the previously mentioned receptionist can jilt Chris awake momentarily with one word!
Yesterday, I completely surprised our doctor by saying I didn't think I had one question for him this time. He responded by saying, "The appointment isn't over yet!" When the doctor was listening to Cohen's heart beat with his doppler, Chris asked him if he had had it inspected recently. I gave Chris the weirdest look.  Chris' mind fascinates me. So selectively detail-oriented, he is! I guess Chris had noticed the date for re-inspection was about now and wanted to make sure the instrument the ob was using was up to snuff.  Our doctor laughed and replied that indeed he had had it inspected.  Probably the first time he was asked about that!
While we eagerly await Cohen's arrival, we also pray and trust that he will come in God's perfect timing.  We want him to be fully grown and perfect. I want him here now, but know it is better that he stays in the "oven" for awhile longer while he grows stronger and acquires more skills. It has been a long 8 months, but will be more than worth it for a lifetime of joy this little guy, our miracle, will bring us.