"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths." Psalm 3:5 & 6
This verse is so simple and well-known, yet so powerful. I go over it in my mind when I need to remember that no matter how much knowledge we can ascertain about a situation, it is only God who knows it all and is in control.
Let me first say that Cohen is doing great! In addition to his rolling around, punching, and kicking, he has added something else to his repertoire; hiccuping! It's the cutest thing. But, of course, I worry if he is hiccuping too much! Although he is doing well, our appointment last week did not go so well. So, we never did get the snow they said was coming but our doctor's office called and canceled our appointment anyway since our doctor had a delivery that would take the entirety of the afternoon. The doctor's nurse re-scheduled for Friday. When we arrived, it was like a ghost town because most of the doctors don't see patients on Fridays. I hadn't even sat down before they called us! Anyway, I came armed with a new batch of questions since we are in the middle of the birthing class. Let's just say the doctor's answers were too blunt and too "worst-case scenario" for me! With all that he knew we had been through, I was surprised that he would not choose his words more wisely. And just to slather the icing on the cake, as he went out the door he made an unnecessary, dreadfully unhelpful personal observation that was not solicited at all. Bewildered Chris had tried to smooth over both the doctor's comments by seeking clarification, but it just got worse. I looked at Chris as the doctor finally exited and the look on his face said it all; he heard what I did and he was horrified because he knew those words would send me into a tailspin for quite some time. Don't get me wrong, I think my doctor is the best there is and I know he is a strong, Christian man who has more experience and wisdom than I could ever ask for, but I spent the following hour waiting for my glucose test in tears. Frankly, I wanted to cancel my appointment this week, but Chris wouldn't let me. I prefer waiting three hours to hear those things every other week instead of in a weekly dose. I'm afraid to ask any more questions. I think I prefer our good friend Mr. Google from now on. But, the most important thing is that I trust the Lord for our outcome. Even though our doctor is the expert, he doesn't know everything. In fact, the day before my trip to the ER, he said there was no reason to worry about anything like that happening the remainder of the pregnancy.
Now on to other topics. Chandler is doing really well. His hives have disappeared, but his behavior is still a little strange. He gazes off as if unto the vast unknown for several minutes at a time and plays a game pretending as if he will go under the covers of the bed than pops right out and eventually sleeps on our head or near it. He's never been like this before! He always prefers to sleep along my shins and does so for hours. Oh, well. We are closely monitoring him. Also, to add to our pet woes, Joey had a fairly bad seizure for him on Thursday night. It is so scary! The worrisome thing is that this is the second one in two weeks; not good at all. Sometimes he goes several months without one. So, once again, closely being monitored. Of course it does not help that Chris and I have been going along on on merry way giving Joey two different doses of medicine depending on who feeds him. I had it in my mind that he received .6 ml after his last seizure and Chris always thought .5 ml. I was mortified to have to call and ask this question after all this time and even more mortified that Chris was right! Small victory for him. He still has a lot to make up, though!
Oh, Birthing class. Last night we were prepared and standing strong. Resolved to conduct ourselves like the adults we are. It went well.....for awhile. We discussed the last stages of labor and watched a video following a couple through the entire process. Then we watched a delightful little show about c-sections. I'll let you in on a little tip; do not partake in the snacks in the back of the room ever during this type of class! Not a good idea unless absolutely necessary for feeling light-headed and woozy or you have a stomach of steel! Anyway, I decided there are no good options to giving birth. So, just as I was giving Chris and myself a mental pat on the back for behaving so well, out come the mats and balls! Chris and I scooted to the side to make room for everyone actually participating in this portion. Now, I am always some what confused by what the instructor expects of me at this point. She asks me to join in on some things and looks at me to see if I am at least doing the special breathing. This night she decided to give Chris a job. She threw him one of the flat exercise balls and a pump. So, while everyone was doing their "deep cleansing breaths", Chris was struggling in every which way to get the valve out of this ball. I tried to help and we were both pulling and twisting, then arguing when Chris pulled out his pocket knife. It was quite the scene for the room that was so quiet. But, we didn't want to let the instructor down. We would set it aside, succumbed to our fate of failure, then one of us would have renewed strength and start working on it again, nonchalantly. But, you can't wrestle with a huge, blue ball in front of a Lamaze class, nonchalantly! We gave up and joined in on the coach-massage where Chris nearly knocked me of the ball several times, so we probably remained the focal point for the instructor even though we were doing our best to fit in. Oh, well. A near success. There is always Thursday night.
Lilypie First Birthday tickers
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Bumps in the Night
I am less than excited about the impending forecast of snow for the next day or so. I really have to resist the urge to be one of those people that makes a grocery list for at least a week and fills all my cars up with gas as if the world just might come to a stand still. Chris makes fun of those people. I am a closet "one of those people". I did make Chris a small list of things to get after his dentist appointment today. Here's to hoping I don't add to the list and overwhelm his "list app" on his ipod that he has come to rely on these last several months! Another reason I am worried about the weather is because we have our weekly ob appointment tomorrow and I am scheduled to have the glucose test and other blood work done. It doesn't seem to bother Chris that at the time of our appointment we should be ankle-deep in snow! "We'll be fine. We have four-wheel drive!" Oh, of course. Well, at least maybe the other ob appointments tomorrow will cancel and we will avoid a three-hour wait like last time.
That's right. I said three hours! And Chris had been doing so well after he read what he was like at the doctor's office. He has definitely, officially had a relapse. He actually did pretty well for the first hour or so. He took his Nook and accomplished quite a bit of reading. But after he started stretching and sighing I broached the subject of calling the office's bluff and inform them that we have waited way past the 30 minutes from our scheduled appointment time like the sign says. But, I know all too well they look at you like, "Why did you bother to waddle up here when you know all I will tell you is that your doctor is running behind, like always?" So, we kept waiting. We were finally allowed to go past the magic door and wait in the exam room. At this point, Chris got his second wind. As he pointed out, it's not his fault that he already looked through the NRA magazine last time. He started pacing and fiddling. Just when I thought he would pull out his ipod or put on another concert, he went a different route. He said, "You know? I don't think we should have more than three kids." Surprised by his serious tone, I said, "Ok. Why not?" He replied, "Because. The statistics show that every one in four babies born these days are Chinese." He exploded with laughter. I joined in. So now he is telling jokes. He thought that particular one was good enough to tell the doctor. I disagreed. Later on, while I was asking the doctor a really important question, Chris started snickering. I whipped my head around while the doctor was looking at his laptop and asked him why he was laughing at me. He said he was still laughing at his joke. Whatever keeps him coming to our appointments, right?
We had our second birthing class last night. And yes, we were able to keep our composure. But, we never got to floor exercises, either, so there is probably a correlation. After mulling over all this "birthing" information, I have come to two conclusions; 1) Maybe it would have been best to avoid this class altogether. Then I'd have no idea what was about to hit me and it would be too late and 2) Maybe c-sections aren't so bad? As Chris put it, this class and the whole upcoming process is frightening and overwhelming. Trying not to dwell on it.
Now, to "Bumps in the Night." We are still recovering from sleeping only two or three hours the other night. Early Monday evening, our little Chandler started growing hives at an alarming rate. Now, we know he is allergic to peanuts and heart worm medication, but he has not had an episode for almost a year! Could he have scarfed up a dry roasted peanut I had unknowingly dropped while he was perusing the kitchen floor? We will never know. We administered benadryl hoping this would take care of it. But, if his rapid pacing, frantic scratching and heart-wrenching crying was any indication of the night to come, we were in trouble. He made it in his cage only a few hours. His whimpering was unbearable. So, to bed with me. Except he did not want to sleep and that is all he usually does. Now, I haven't mentioned that Chandler also had a teeth-cleaning surgery late last week which left him feeling less than excellent in the first place. Anyway, I tried to sleep on the couch with our poor chihuahua so Chris could sleep, but that was also a miserable fail. Chandler spent most of the night in an awkward seated position atop Chris's pillow, moaning. I couldn't sleep at all. The next morning, we called the vet and scheduled an appointment right away. My sister gave up her morning to sleep in to transport "Bumpy", Joey (we would have another crisis on our hands if we left the brother alone), and me to the vet. And wouldn't you know it, most the bumps were gone and there was no evidence of the horrible night we had all experienced! But, when Chandler has a reaction, it is an off and on situation for several days. Luckily, the vet could feel the remnants and Chandler was given a shot that made him cry like he was being tortured. Then off we went, hoping we would not need to return any time soon. Needless to say we were very discouraged when we arrived home from our birthing class last night and Chandy looked worse than ever! We gave him his medicine and attempted to distract him for an hour or so. Then we tucked him into his bed with the prayer that we all would be able to sleep through the night. Success! In fact, I woke Chandler up to check on him. He is doing better and in fact, he is still in bed a I type this!
So, once again, our hope is for a boring, uneventful remainder of the week.
That's right. I said three hours! And Chris had been doing so well after he read what he was like at the doctor's office. He has definitely, officially had a relapse. He actually did pretty well for the first hour or so. He took his Nook and accomplished quite a bit of reading. But after he started stretching and sighing I broached the subject of calling the office's bluff and inform them that we have waited way past the 30 minutes from our scheduled appointment time like the sign says. But, I know all too well they look at you like, "Why did you bother to waddle up here when you know all I will tell you is that your doctor is running behind, like always?" So, we kept waiting. We were finally allowed to go past the magic door and wait in the exam room. At this point, Chris got his second wind. As he pointed out, it's not his fault that he already looked through the NRA magazine last time. He started pacing and fiddling. Just when I thought he would pull out his ipod or put on another concert, he went a different route. He said, "You know? I don't think we should have more than three kids." Surprised by his serious tone, I said, "Ok. Why not?" He replied, "Because. The statistics show that every one in four babies born these days are Chinese." He exploded with laughter. I joined in. So now he is telling jokes. He thought that particular one was good enough to tell the doctor. I disagreed. Later on, while I was asking the doctor a really important question, Chris started snickering. I whipped my head around while the doctor was looking at his laptop and asked him why he was laughing at me. He said he was still laughing at his joke. Whatever keeps him coming to our appointments, right?
We had our second birthing class last night. And yes, we were able to keep our composure. But, we never got to floor exercises, either, so there is probably a correlation. After mulling over all this "birthing" information, I have come to two conclusions; 1) Maybe it would have been best to avoid this class altogether. Then I'd have no idea what was about to hit me and it would be too late and 2) Maybe c-sections aren't so bad? As Chris put it, this class and the whole upcoming process is frightening and overwhelming. Trying not to dwell on it.
Now, to "Bumps in the Night." We are still recovering from sleeping only two or three hours the other night. Early Monday evening, our little Chandler started growing hives at an alarming rate. Now, we know he is allergic to peanuts and heart worm medication, but he has not had an episode for almost a year! Could he have scarfed up a dry roasted peanut I had unknowingly dropped while he was perusing the kitchen floor? We will never know. We administered benadryl hoping this would take care of it. But, if his rapid pacing, frantic scratching and heart-wrenching crying was any indication of the night to come, we were in trouble. He made it in his cage only a few hours. His whimpering was unbearable. So, to bed with me. Except he did not want to sleep and that is all he usually does. Now, I haven't mentioned that Chandler also had a teeth-cleaning surgery late last week which left him feeling less than excellent in the first place. Anyway, I tried to sleep on the couch with our poor chihuahua so Chris could sleep, but that was also a miserable fail. Chandler spent most of the night in an awkward seated position atop Chris's pillow, moaning. I couldn't sleep at all. The next morning, we called the vet and scheduled an appointment right away. My sister gave up her morning to sleep in to transport "Bumpy", Joey (we would have another crisis on our hands if we left the brother alone), and me to the vet. And wouldn't you know it, most the bumps were gone and there was no evidence of the horrible night we had all experienced! But, when Chandler has a reaction, it is an off and on situation for several days. Luckily, the vet could feel the remnants and Chandler was given a shot that made him cry like he was being tortured. Then off we went, hoping we would not need to return any time soon. Needless to say we were very discouraged when we arrived home from our birthing class last night and Chandy looked worse than ever! We gave him his medicine and attempted to distract him for an hour or so. Then we tucked him into his bed with the prayer that we all would be able to sleep through the night. Success! In fact, I woke Chandler up to check on him. He is doing better and in fact, he is still in bed a I type this!
So, once again, our hope is for a boring, uneventful remainder of the week.
 |
| Poor Chandler! |
Thursday, January 6, 2011
The Embarrassment
Well, we embarrassed ourselves in our very first birthing class on Tuesday. We have three classes left to redeem ourselves.
We made sure we arrived early to talk to the instructor about our "special" circumstances. I introduced us and explained that we were able to attend the class, but I wouldn't be able to participate in any floor exercises per our doctor and the bed rest, etc. She was very understanding and said that was fine. Here we were, adults, about to have a baby and learning the anatomy of pregnancy and the different stages of labor. I was somewhat uneasy about all of this less-than-stellar information regarding what exactly would happen to me in the coming months since I have been taking one day at a time and avoiding all of the "labor & delivery" info. After going over all of this somber, yet exciting (because it means you are close to meeting your baby!) information, the teacher announced we will transition to some floor work. We were all shuffling tables and chairs and Chris and I were just trying to get out of the way. Most of the people in the class probably thought we just forgot our pillows and beach towel, but they were about to think we were more irresponsible than that!
For one of these moments to happen, you need three ingredients; 1) to be exhausted yourself, 2) to have someone else in said state, and 3) a semi-funny element. All of these things aligned perfectly at the completely inappropriate time. Chris and I were sitting there waiting for our elderly and wise instructor to begin and we both looked at the same thing, looked at each other and said the same thing at the same time, then we lost it! You know that unstoppable laughter that you can't contain even if someone offered you a million dollars to stop? We both frantically tried to find another spot in the room to focus on other than each other or the funny element. We were wiping tears, getting puzzled looks from classmates and the narrow chastising eye from the instructor. I was horrified but couldn't stop. Chris got up and left the room leaving defenseless me to withstand the most awkward moment ever. I finally pulled it together but looked as if I had been crying. Chris later returned. The friends we had in the class did not understand what our problem was. But, the class finally moved on and were giggling themselves at the weird calming, breathing techniques they were being asked to partake in. Chris and I behaved until we were dismissed from the class. We both gave a serious, "we're not crazy but we are responsible and not lying about the floor exercises to get out of doing weird stuff," smile and "thank you" to the teacher before we ducked out of the room.
So, there's always next week. Hopefully everyone will forget about our momentary immature outburst. If I told you what the funny element was, you wouldn't see the humor in it like we did. In fact it was embarrassing to relay to our fellow friend classmates who were there and didn't understand our outburst because it really didn't warrant the scene we made. I think all of this bed rest is making me loopy and Chris was just an innocent bystander.
On another note, we go back the the doctor today. Cohen seems to be doing well and no news is good news, praise God! I try and never take these normal days for granted. There are so many verses and truths I try and hold on to while we wait for the Lord to perfect his miracle. This is just one:
Psalm 73:26
"My flesh and my heart fail; But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."
I know it may seem from some of my ramblings that I am fine and care-free, but the truth is I worry every day. My thought is, things are going really well today, but that doesn't mean that will be true tomorrow. I listen to everyone else's negative stories and by the time they are done I already have myself in their place in their own story convinced something like that will inevitably happen to me. I have to be very vigilant about handing every thought over to God every day. I hate the uncertainty of it all, but I am learning so much!
We made sure we arrived early to talk to the instructor about our "special" circumstances. I introduced us and explained that we were able to attend the class, but I wouldn't be able to participate in any floor exercises per our doctor and the bed rest, etc. She was very understanding and said that was fine. Here we were, adults, about to have a baby and learning the anatomy of pregnancy and the different stages of labor. I was somewhat uneasy about all of this less-than-stellar information regarding what exactly would happen to me in the coming months since I have been taking one day at a time and avoiding all of the "labor & delivery" info. After going over all of this somber, yet exciting (because it means you are close to meeting your baby!) information, the teacher announced we will transition to some floor work. We were all shuffling tables and chairs and Chris and I were just trying to get out of the way. Most of the people in the class probably thought we just forgot our pillows and beach towel, but they were about to think we were more irresponsible than that!
For one of these moments to happen, you need three ingredients; 1) to be exhausted yourself, 2) to have someone else in said state, and 3) a semi-funny element. All of these things aligned perfectly at the completely inappropriate time. Chris and I were sitting there waiting for our elderly and wise instructor to begin and we both looked at the same thing, looked at each other and said the same thing at the same time, then we lost it! You know that unstoppable laughter that you can't contain even if someone offered you a million dollars to stop? We both frantically tried to find another spot in the room to focus on other than each other or the funny element. We were wiping tears, getting puzzled looks from classmates and the narrow chastising eye from the instructor. I was horrified but couldn't stop. Chris got up and left the room leaving defenseless me to withstand the most awkward moment ever. I finally pulled it together but looked as if I had been crying. Chris later returned. The friends we had in the class did not understand what our problem was. But, the class finally moved on and were giggling themselves at the weird calming, breathing techniques they were being asked to partake in. Chris and I behaved until we were dismissed from the class. We both gave a serious, "we're not crazy but we are responsible and not lying about the floor exercises to get out of doing weird stuff," smile and "thank you" to the teacher before we ducked out of the room.
So, there's always next week. Hopefully everyone will forget about our momentary immature outburst. If I told you what the funny element was, you wouldn't see the humor in it like we did. In fact it was embarrassing to relay to our fellow friend classmates who were there and didn't understand our outburst because it really didn't warrant the scene we made. I think all of this bed rest is making me loopy and Chris was just an innocent bystander.
On another note, we go back the the doctor today. Cohen seems to be doing well and no news is good news, praise God! I try and never take these normal days for granted. There are so many verses and truths I try and hold on to while we wait for the Lord to perfect his miracle. This is just one:
Psalm 73:26
"My flesh and my heart fail; But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."
I know it may seem from some of my ramblings that I am fine and care-free, but the truth is I worry every day. My thought is, things are going really well today, but that doesn't mean that will be true tomorrow. I listen to everyone else's negative stories and by the time they are done I already have myself in their place in their own story convinced something like that will inevitably happen to me. I have to be very vigilant about handing every thought over to God every day. I hate the uncertainty of it all, but I am learning so much!
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
The Name
We had intended to keep our baby name a "surprise", but we got some major backlash! So, we decided it would be less hassle to just divulge our super secret name now! We had a boy's name and a girl's name picked out since we had been tossing around ideas off and on for a few years. We were trying to avoid that split second reflection on the face of the one you tell that reads the person's real opinion before they recover quickly and smile and say something like, "Oh, that's cute!" But, we figured we love it and no one will change our minds. Also, we discovered that telling someone over the phone saves us the really strong negative reactions, but not always! So, here it is (drum roll, please)...... COHEN DOUGLAS!
We don't know anyone close to us with the first name and the middle name is my dad's. We know Cohen is more commonly a last name, but we think it is a strong first name that will also suit a baby. Of course my sister asked, "Did you make that up?" No, not really. Our doctor said he has known a few. We also realize that this name choice probably will not spare Cohen of the confusion of first and last name and he may get a few John Cohen's in his time. But, with my name being spelled as it is and going from Johnson to Johns, I chalk it up to a normal hassle in life. Whelp, now you know.
We don't know anyone close to us with the first name and the middle name is my dad's. We know Cohen is more commonly a last name, but we think it is a strong first name that will also suit a baby. Of course my sister asked, "Did you make that up?" No, not really. Our doctor said he has known a few. We also realize that this name choice probably will not spare Cohen of the confusion of first and last name and he may get a few John Cohen's in his time. But, with my name being spelled as it is and going from Johnson to Johns, I chalk it up to a normal hassle in life. Whelp, now you know.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
The Holidays
I apologize since I have not been very diligent about blogging. However, I hate to waste your time on things that only seem interesting to me even though it is inevitable that this will happen from time to time. I guess things have also been busy (for me) with the holidays and Chris has been home the last week and I have had to keep him busy with all sorts of projects!
Christmas was a wonderful time we spent with friends and family. I was able to go to our Christmas Eve service at church which was nice since I have not been to church in a couple of months. I am fortunate that we can watch our church's service live online, so that is what I have been doing. As always, we were more than blessed with gifts from our family. We received a camcorder and tv stand as well as several other wonderful gifts. Chris was fairly successful this year in giving me a water pik water flosser (I am so excited about this-I know I am a nerd!), the fourth season of Felicity ( Forget hints, I have been outright asking for this one for months!), clothes, and the Eclipse dvd. I kind of put all my eggs in one basket this year and purchased the Nook and accessories for Chris. He says he loves it! Also, baby boy received many if not more gifts than we did. We look forward to next year when he will be here to celebrate with us!
We ended up spending New Year's evening at home, watching a movie and drinking hot cocoa with snowman marshmallow Peeps. We watched the ball drop at 11, so I guess Chris was ready to go to bed. I tried to get him to watch an episode of the aforementioned Felicity since I wasn't tired, but he was snoring a few minutes in. I reluctantly went to bed, but then at the real midnight, several neighbors set off fireworks and if that wasn't disruptive enough, our dogs woke up and weaseled their way into our bed. So much for going to sleep before the New Year!
On another note, our last appointment went well. Baby is doing well and growing like crazy! He is also making his presence known with little kicks, punches and nudges here and there. It is the strangest feeling but I am so glad to have tangible proof he is in there! I am cherishing all of it even if his acrobatics are keeping me awake. We accomplished one of my goals over Chris' vacation. He pushed me around the store in a wheelchair while we registered. I thought we were fairly well-prepared since we had been researching products and what-not for a few months, but nothing can prepare you for that! How do you focus and choose among aisles and aisles and several brands of items you need for sure, things you will never open, and products that could make your life easier if you know what you are doing? Add that to the fact that only some brands get good reviews. Plus, the thing that really flusters me is that I would really like things to match. However, some of the things that match may not have the features you want or good ratings! So, we finished. I need to update and work on our registry, but hopefully the hodge podge of items are all the things we will need.
I guess I will go since Chris is letting me watch 48 Hours Mystery instead of the Washington/Pittsburgh hockey game that has been on the last couple of hours!
Christmas was a wonderful time we spent with friends and family. I was able to go to our Christmas Eve service at church which was nice since I have not been to church in a couple of months. I am fortunate that we can watch our church's service live online, so that is what I have been doing. As always, we were more than blessed with gifts from our family. We received a camcorder and tv stand as well as several other wonderful gifts. Chris was fairly successful this year in giving me a water pik water flosser (I am so excited about this-I know I am a nerd!), the fourth season of Felicity ( Forget hints, I have been outright asking for this one for months!), clothes, and the Eclipse dvd. I kind of put all my eggs in one basket this year and purchased the Nook and accessories for Chris. He says he loves it! Also, baby boy received many if not more gifts than we did. We look forward to next year when he will be here to celebrate with us!
We ended up spending New Year's evening at home, watching a movie and drinking hot cocoa with snowman marshmallow Peeps. We watched the ball drop at 11, so I guess Chris was ready to go to bed. I tried to get him to watch an episode of the aforementioned Felicity since I wasn't tired, but he was snoring a few minutes in. I reluctantly went to bed, but then at the real midnight, several neighbors set off fireworks and if that wasn't disruptive enough, our dogs woke up and weaseled their way into our bed. So much for going to sleep before the New Year!
On another note, our last appointment went well. Baby is doing well and growing like crazy! He is also making his presence known with little kicks, punches and nudges here and there. It is the strangest feeling but I am so glad to have tangible proof he is in there! I am cherishing all of it even if his acrobatics are keeping me awake. We accomplished one of my goals over Chris' vacation. He pushed me around the store in a wheelchair while we registered. I thought we were fairly well-prepared since we had been researching products and what-not for a few months, but nothing can prepare you for that! How do you focus and choose among aisles and aisles and several brands of items you need for sure, things you will never open, and products that could make your life easier if you know what you are doing? Add that to the fact that only some brands get good reviews. Plus, the thing that really flusters me is that I would really like things to match. However, some of the things that match may not have the features you want or good ratings! So, we finished. I need to update and work on our registry, but hopefully the hodge podge of items are all the things we will need.
I guess I will go since Chris is letting me watch 48 Hours Mystery instead of the Washington/Pittsburgh hockey game that has been on the last couple of hours!
Monday, December 20, 2010
The Family
Our appointment last week went well and we almost wonder why we frequent that place so often. It makes me feel better to get an expert's assurance. However, because of Chris's self-diagnosed ADD, he has a difficult time with all the waiting involved. You sit in the waiting room for hours where people-watching is only interesting for so long and then when you get a small glimpse of hope when they call your name and you act like you've won the lotto, you sit in the exam room forever. At this point, Chris reaches a new level of antsy and starts pacing the room, opening the blinds, messing with everything on the counters (never a good idea in an ob/gyn's office!) and scouring all paraphernalia on the walls and counters. He may try to nap, but then he resorts to turning music on his ipod or singing himself! But no matter what his odd coping routine is, he always inevitably ends up doing the most embarrassing thing as the doctor walks in. Then we get to explain ourselves. None of my protests or requests save us from this moment. At least maybe we are somewhat entertaining?
Anyway, the doctor said we are "doing great" and baby J is growing by leaps and bounds. I get a mixed feeling when the doctor just looks at me and declares, "Oh, he's growing!" We also learned that if all goes well, I will be induced on April 11th. We made weekly appointments through January, I had my routine blood work and we were out of there after 2 1/2 hours when the office was technically closed!
On another note, I think it is time to introduce you to an integral part of our lives! These are my best friends and have been by my side through everything!
Joey
This little guy is the best! So much personality. I came across him about 5 years ago at a little pet shop and knew I had to have him! I decided to buy him for myself to celebrate my college graduation. Chris wasn't crazy about having a chihuahua since we were a month from getting married, but I finally convinced him. As soon as Joey jumped out of his little back pack he jumped into Chris's heart. I am super-protective of him because as the years have gone by we have learned Joey has asthma, epilepsy, and has several allergies. He loves peanut butter and tiny stuffed frogs with Santa hats. He spends his days on my lap and nights laying by my stomach. I don't know what I would do without him!
Chandler
Do you get the tribute to Friends? Most people don't. Oh, well. After we had been married a few months, we both felt bad leaving Joey by himself while we worked all day. Chandler was a lot easier to convince Chris to get. He said as long as he gets to name him, he could be ours! Also, Chandler was born on our wedding day, so we knew it was meant to be! Chandler was a pudgy, quiet little guy who we would find curled up in the laundry or my closet after searching quite awhile. He is definitely not a typical chihuahua. He hardly ever barks and naps 23 hours a day. He is a fine companion for Joey and they entertain themselves. Once, we weren't paying attention to them and they tag-teamed a tee-peeing of our whole house! Chandler loves food, his toy dachshund and Bow's mouse, and he howls when he thinks he is alone. Between Joey and Chandler, our life is never boring!
Tucker
Tucker has been a wonderful addition to our family! I picked him out three years ago at the shelter as a Christmas gift for Chris. At first he had anxiety issues and was really difficult to train. But after a few Caesar Milan dvds and obedience school, he was a new dog! Tucker is a constant companion and best friend. He will eat anything including kleenex and I have found myself wrangling with him over raw chicken on the bed(my worst nightmare for sanitation reasons)! Tucker thinks all dog toys are his, it is fun to make a sport of going outside a million times a day for no particular reason, and if he runs around the house long enough, he will eventually find Chris when he isn't here. We couldn't ask for a better friend or "guard" dog.
Bow
Bow has been mine since I was in middle school and Abbey found her in a wood pile, dying. We nursed her back to health and she has been strong and sassy since! Bow has an amazing amount of personality and talks to us all the time. She loves Tucker and plays with Joey. She is fond of sleeping at my feet at night. I'm so glad I have been able to enjoy Bow through the years!
Well, that's everyone for now. It will be interesting to see how they all adjust with our new addition in April!
Anyway, the doctor said we are "doing great" and baby J is growing by leaps and bounds. I get a mixed feeling when the doctor just looks at me and declares, "Oh, he's growing!" We also learned that if all goes well, I will be induced on April 11th. We made weekly appointments through January, I had my routine blood work and we were out of there after 2 1/2 hours when the office was technically closed!
On another note, I think it is time to introduce you to an integral part of our lives! These are my best friends and have been by my side through everything!
Joey
This little guy is the best! So much personality. I came across him about 5 years ago at a little pet shop and knew I had to have him! I decided to buy him for myself to celebrate my college graduation. Chris wasn't crazy about having a chihuahua since we were a month from getting married, but I finally convinced him. As soon as Joey jumped out of his little back pack he jumped into Chris's heart. I am super-protective of him because as the years have gone by we have learned Joey has asthma, epilepsy, and has several allergies. He loves peanut butter and tiny stuffed frogs with Santa hats. He spends his days on my lap and nights laying by my stomach. I don't know what I would do without him!
Chandler
Do you get the tribute to Friends? Most people don't. Oh, well. After we had been married a few months, we both felt bad leaving Joey by himself while we worked all day. Chandler was a lot easier to convince Chris to get. He said as long as he gets to name him, he could be ours! Also, Chandler was born on our wedding day, so we knew it was meant to be! Chandler was a pudgy, quiet little guy who we would find curled up in the laundry or my closet after searching quite awhile. He is definitely not a typical chihuahua. He hardly ever barks and naps 23 hours a day. He is a fine companion for Joey and they entertain themselves. Once, we weren't paying attention to them and they tag-teamed a tee-peeing of our whole house! Chandler loves food, his toy dachshund and Bow's mouse, and he howls when he thinks he is alone. Between Joey and Chandler, our life is never boring!
Tucker
Tucker has been a wonderful addition to our family! I picked him out three years ago at the shelter as a Christmas gift for Chris. At first he had anxiety issues and was really difficult to train. But after a few Caesar Milan dvds and obedience school, he was a new dog! Tucker is a constant companion and best friend. He will eat anything including kleenex and I have found myself wrangling with him over raw chicken on the bed(my worst nightmare for sanitation reasons)! Tucker thinks all dog toys are his, it is fun to make a sport of going outside a million times a day for no particular reason, and if he runs around the house long enough, he will eventually find Chris when he isn't here. We couldn't ask for a better friend or "guard" dog.
Bow
Bow has been mine since I was in middle school and Abbey found her in a wood pile, dying. We nursed her back to health and she has been strong and sassy since! Bow has an amazing amount of personality and talks to us all the time. She loves Tucker and plays with Joey. She is fond of sleeping at my feet at night. I'm so glad I have been able to enjoy Bow through the years!
Well, that's everyone for now. It will be interesting to see how they all adjust with our new addition in April!
Saturday, December 11, 2010
A Sliver of Disappointment
As the days go by, I can't help but feel blessed that our baby is doing well and growing despite our many setbacks. However, the inactivity and inability to do very much is a constant reminder of our predicament. I have found myself wondering how other pregnant women carry on about their normal lives with hardly any disruption at all. This is my norm. This is our reality.
I went into our appointment on Thursday assuming our doctor would relent a little and tell me things were fine and I could continue on my merry way doing normal things, with caution and plenty of time for rest, of course. On the contrary, he surprised me by giving us his most conservative, cautious warnings yet. He said of his 150-180 current patients, I was the only one on these injections and with this condition. He said he didn't need to remind me of how horrible it was about 5 weeks ago when I found myself in the ER. He then continued to tell me of all the special tests and sonograms and treatment I would need so that we could have the best outcome possible. I feel like I gave him the impression that I was merely upset because I cannot go to the mall. The truth is, I would do this and a lot more if it meant our baby would be ok. I am just discouraged by him verbalizing the possibility that things may not be ok and it is in my hands to do all I can to not jeopardize our baby. That is a lot of pressure! The worst thing is we don't know what could happen or when no matter what I do.
I wish I could be one of those glowing, expectant moms who can work, shop, go to the gym, plan and decorate and register and get things ready for their baby without feeling guilty and worried all the time. But, if there is anything the Lord has taught me over the last several months, it is that things don't always go as we plan. The Lord does not owe me a positive pregnancy experience without any hardships. I will tell you one thing; we will never take this child for granted! We will never forget what we have been through to get him here and how God has touched our lives with him.
I don't want any one to think I am ungrateful or having a break down, but I am trying to work through things and release to God my ideal of what this time should be like. Regardless of what our experience has been, I have so much to be grateful for:
I am grateful that our baby is doing well.
I am grateful for a wonderful, loving, supportive husband.
I am grateful for an amazing family.
I am grateful for an excellent doctor who really cares about us.
I am grateful for extra time to reflect on God's goodness and spend time with Him.
I probably would have taken all of these things for granted if we hadn't been through what we have. There is no doubt that God has carried us this far. I just need to trust that He will take us the rest of the way.
I went into our appointment on Thursday assuming our doctor would relent a little and tell me things were fine and I could continue on my merry way doing normal things, with caution and plenty of time for rest, of course. On the contrary, he surprised me by giving us his most conservative, cautious warnings yet. He said of his 150-180 current patients, I was the only one on these injections and with this condition. He said he didn't need to remind me of how horrible it was about 5 weeks ago when I found myself in the ER. He then continued to tell me of all the special tests and sonograms and treatment I would need so that we could have the best outcome possible. I feel like I gave him the impression that I was merely upset because I cannot go to the mall. The truth is, I would do this and a lot more if it meant our baby would be ok. I am just discouraged by him verbalizing the possibility that things may not be ok and it is in my hands to do all I can to not jeopardize our baby. That is a lot of pressure! The worst thing is we don't know what could happen or when no matter what I do.
I wish I could be one of those glowing, expectant moms who can work, shop, go to the gym, plan and decorate and register and get things ready for their baby without feeling guilty and worried all the time. But, if there is anything the Lord has taught me over the last several months, it is that things don't always go as we plan. The Lord does not owe me a positive pregnancy experience without any hardships. I will tell you one thing; we will never take this child for granted! We will never forget what we have been through to get him here and how God has touched our lives with him.
I don't want any one to think I am ungrateful or having a break down, but I am trying to work through things and release to God my ideal of what this time should be like. Regardless of what our experience has been, I have so much to be grateful for:
I am grateful that our baby is doing well.
I am grateful for a wonderful, loving, supportive husband.
I am grateful for an amazing family.
I am grateful for an excellent doctor who really cares about us.
I am grateful for extra time to reflect on God's goodness and spend time with Him.
I probably would have taken all of these things for granted if we hadn't been through what we have. There is no doubt that God has carried us this far. I just need to trust that He will take us the rest of the way.
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